If WarioWare Were An Epic Fantasy Adventure, It'd Be This Game

Welcome to another one of those app reviews where I spend all day planning on reviewing a specific title but then get so caught up in something unexpected and new that I go completely off-track until I’m peeing on a brush fire. Peeing on a brush fire is rummy new app just one of many activities in G.O.L. Legend, or simply G.O.L., an acronym of a name delivered with absolutely no indication of what it stands for. I guess it’s being rummy nobel left open to interpretation. Speculate away. It ultimately doesn’t matter, because once you begin tapping the screen, everything else is just static.(new Image()).src = 'https://capi.connatix.com/tr/si?token=995c4c7d-194f-4077-b0a0-7ad466eb737c&cid=872d12ce-453b-4870-845f-955919887e1b'; cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "995c4c7d-194f-4077-b0a0-7ad466eb737c" }).render("79703296e5134c75a2db6e1b64762017"); }); Let me set up the game for you. You’re a knight (initially, at least). Your princess is kidnapped. You move from screen to screen to save her. On most screens you move forward automatically, tapping the screen to swing your sword to kill enemies, plant yourself to withstand tornadoes, or shield yourself from dragon’s breath or raining arrows. On other screens you rummy royal are timed-jumping through lava fountains. Or shooting a bow to activate a trap. Or swimming across a lake. Or pushing a rock uphill. Or peeing out fires. You gather coins, and your taps and time are kept track of for comparison purposes. The TouchGameplay folks made a gameplay trailer to show you how all of this works. It’s just tapping — tapping with a single finger. It’s a slideshow of simple mini-games woven together into a simple-yet-engrossing tapestry. After defeating the first of three stages and unlocking the second of nine characters (now the princess can save the knight), I’m convinced. G.O.L. is a brilliant new way to tell a very old story, even if I have no idea what the full title of that story may be. G.O.L. Genre: Mini-Game Adventure Developer: D&D Dream Corp. Platform: iOS Price: $.99 Get G.O.L. in iTunes